Tag Archives: History

Frenemies. Love to loathe them.

7 Mar
My Frenemy

My Frenemy (Photo credit: andymangold)

Alright. Let’s talk about Frenemies.

This post is dedicated to all the men in my life. If you are a man, most likely a friend of mine reading this, I’m about to share with you a very helpful tip on REALLY understanding women. If you are a woman reading this, you will thank me for sharing with our male companions who can, sadly have moments of complete non-self awareness. You can throw this in his face and say ‘SEE?  You feel me now?!’

This was a hot topic with a few girlfriends of mine as I shared with them my big time angst moment of my hubs absolutely peeving me off in an argument that had to do with a Frenemy of mine. An argument he will never win. He did the most unthinkable thing you should never do when it comes a wife’s Frenemy: He complimented the F-ing Frenemy. In fact, he told her how great she looked  and blah blah blah he just totally went there.  So now I feel like its my duty to share. I was deeply encouraged to post this.

Let’s first define a Frenemy so we don’t lose each other here.

A FRENEMY is someone maybe in your current life, or past, usually from your childhood where you’ve always secretly disliked growing up. There’s an old history between you two. You know, your not so publicized nemesis you have an immense hate-on for, and it’s usually both ways that you feel this way about each other. And it ain’t good warm feelings. No way. Instead they are feelings of shitness: I-can’t-stand-you-and- everything-you-say-or-do-I-think-you-suck-ass-and-can’t-believe-OUR-common friend-likes you-for-some-warped-reason. So it remains to be this fake interaction as it has to be to keep some peace.

You simply dislike this Frenemy, always have, and most likely always will. And it’s because it’s so deep-rooted, as it goes way back to the memories of your early teens or precious young years of growing up.  You can’t let go of that time how they tried to F you over in school, or when they tried to throw you under the bus because of their selfish ways to always want to win, or the time they were so competitive and jealous of you because they couldn’t stand your success in any way, as your happiness ate them alive inside. If they weren’t #1, then everyone else had to eat shit. The Frenemy is the opposite of who you consider yourself as a person today. Opposite of your core values, and perhaps that is the reason they drive you insane and you can’t help but judge them constantly.

But the ‘FRE’ is there for a very sad and frustrating reason. You most likely still have that common Friend, or common social circle and you’ve managed to somehow never leave each other’s lives because of this unfortunate bond you can’t seem to control, change or sadly break off. Therefore the Frenemy is your secret hate on for each other that has never been publicly announced (because yes you are civil and mature) and it has to be that way so it never gets anymore awkward than it already is when you have to socialize with them, when really, all  you just want to do is prance on them like a cat and pull their hair when something really offensive comes out of their mouth!

I find Frenemies fascinating because somehow with all the life experiences being in your thirty’s, acting as a mature adult (in most cases), one can’t seem to let go of the angst you feel towards them. It stays with you, this deep emotional anchor that will never leave you when you interact with them. It just lingers there, like how victims of bullying must feel even when they grow older. It just doesn’t ever really go away.

So back to our men. A few rules for you if you want to save yourself from a future emotionally exhausting argument with your wife or girlfriend that you will never win and can totally be avoided but only if you listen carefully.

Rule 1. Never, and I mean NEVER in front of your girlfriend or your wife pay the Frenemy a compliment. Even if you really mean it. Which is even worse. Inside, your woman’s blood is boiling, her ears start steaming and you won’t know what’s going on until she blows her shit up on you as soon as you get into  private corridors. It’s just not smart dude. The Frenemy NEVER deserves credit! Your woman needs to feel that your alliance to her is exactly that- Loyalty is such an important thing. We don’t want Frenemies to feel good about themselves ever no way! It’s karma for all the credits they tried or still try to steal from you. Even if you don’t know what the F is going on, just trust her and just please go with it. God, it’s not rocket science.

Rule 2.  Don’t you dare get all self-righteous and bust out the 10 commandments and start lecturing your gf/wife of how this ‘hatred has CONSUMED her’ and how ‘Forgiveness‘ is to let go. Omg. If you do this, I must warn you that, at this point, she just might go ape shit on you and you will be responsible of creating some evil wrath you never knew they were capable of. And that will be all you fault.

Rule 3. Can’t you just TRUST your woman’s judgement? I mean if there is any reason why your loving, amazing, positive wife/gf, might just really dislike someone is for um a REALLY GOOD reason. Don’t ever pull the “well she was nice to me and I don’t see what you mean about her” For crap’s sake, you’re really judging their character in all of 2 mere meaningless social encounters? Pulease. I mean the German nazi followers loved Hitler. So that must mean he was alright. geesh.

And so that is it folks. Very simple rules, follow them and you’ll avoid world war III 🙂 My wonderful man learned the hard way. And I guess because he’s so loving and see’s the world in clear, big beautiful eyes, it’s not his fault.

Whatever, it totally is.


Youngabunga! xo

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