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skinny bitch. T-4 weeks.

10 Jul

I cannot believe I’m getting married in 4 weeks. I mean where in the world did fall, winter, spring go that let us to this day as I type these words with t-4 weeks left until we say ‘I do’! Crazy.

But I’m so excited!, WE’RE excited. Everyday I’m reminding Chris that soon we’ll be in Maui getting married at Sunset then surfing plenty on the waves and the only thing we’ll need to worry about is not bringing enough sunblock. Life is good my friends when this just might be the only issue we’re concerned about. When we talk about it, and count down the days, we’ve got a whimsical grin on our face and are smiling from ear to ear. It’s pretty cute.

And so this means in the last 6 weeks I’ve been reminding myself that I’ve got to get my butt into shape to be confident in a bikini-ready bod that I’d be proud enough to flaunt. Late night dinners caught up to me, laziness and excuses took the best of me in the last year. And so the plan began:

– Gym at least 3 times a week. Circuit train my ass off, focus on the abs, tone tone tone
– Cardio through jogging outside minimum 3 km don’t stop. Do the route down hidden streets of Queen West.
– Eat super healthy no more greasy egg sandwiches in the AM, only fruit in the morning, a lot more veggies on plate at lunch and dinners, and way less heavy meats and carbs
– Perspective. Remembering that all this will be worth it while I put on that scandally clad white bikini and say damn I feel good!! and make Chris’s eye balls pop on how lucky he is 😉

I remember when I had to go through occasional phases to lose weight in my twenties and it was so freakin easy with my blessed-then metabolism. But now in my 30’s we ladies know how much harder we have to work to shed lbs and tone up. The metabolism cards were used up and the body Gods have said no more free tickets. Ugh!

The other day at the gym I was hard at work, doing some back row lifts working on my Lattissirrus Dorsi’s of course when I saw her. HER. I hated her the first moment I saw her. My mouth dropped and I stared at her for a good 2 minutes looking like  .. well an idiot and I’m sure pretty creepy too.

She was asian, looked like chinese maybe Vietnamese. Tanned like me, I could tell we had the same type of melanin skin type that if she were outside for 10 min, it would be super easy to get colour and be gold at will. Long black shiny healthy asian hair, the kind I used to have in my twenties, which then I assumed she was about 23-25 years old and about 5″5 in height.  The reason why I was staring at her was because of her unbelievable, tight, toned, fit, HOT BODY. I mean she looked great. The tightest and firmest ass I’ve seen on an actual asian woman. (we are known for flat asses it’s true) As she stood there flicking her beautiful hair, laughing and flirting with what looked like a friendly stranger, her stance just highlighted her amazing defined triceps and her super toned abdominals which peaked through her cropped workout tank-top. (The kind that only the super confident look-at-me-biatches ladies wear at the gym, when they know how great they look).

God I was jealous.

She reminded me so much of how I used to feel about myself and body image when I was her age. I remember my gym obsession, working out regularly with my very fit boyfriends at the time and being super disciplined about it. At that moment, I couldn’t help but glance at the mirror and look at myself and compare, how far (and I don’t mean progress) I’ve come to my physical state today.  So much potential I murmured to myself had if I only I had stuck through it. I’m so lame should have, should have…

As I was gawking at HER, she notices right away and catches me staring and clearly she understands me. With unspoken words, she sends a telepathic response to me that says “Oh honey, yes I know, I’m hot as shit. Its hard managing all this attention but I do love it I must say. I know what you’re thinking, you want this. Not me of course but all this. You’re jealous and I ain’t mad”

Then, at that point she decides she is going to remove the outer layer of her tank and just wear the workout bra. And that is when I lost my shit.

I then kicked into full mode like I was in some trance. I up’d the weights by 10-15 more lbs that I normally did, then also added 5 more reps to each set thereafter. All of sudden, I thought I was Zena and I was going to show HER and say “Just because I’m like 10 years older than you, don’t mean I can’t get my body back!!!”

But I knew how much work I’d need to do. And 6 weeks wasn’t enough time. But enough to get me hopefully half way to my real goal.

So whoever you are hot asian lady at my gym. I will call you skinny bitch for now because I can and because I’m super jealous. I’d like to thank you for motivating me in the right direction. Thank you for reminding me what I lost so I can attempt with good will and some power to get it all back. Oh thy work.

When I got home, I told Chris all about skinny bitch and how much she motivated me to whip my ass into shape and how she telepathically told me off  and got really competitive again on how fit I could actually be and that I CAN reach my goals if I just stick it to. He laughed at me like I was 12 years old and thought it was really cute that I was jealous of complete and total stranger. Whatever I say.

Moral of the story is, Skinny Bitches help us in unintentional ways, that by example one is capable of doing all the same healthy and hard work things as her. Work out,  eat well, stick with it, be sexy, flick your hair if you want to and flirt with men because it feels good for your ego and feels so powerful! So far I’ve lost 2lbs.. more muscle less fat 🙂

Thank you skinny bitch where ever you are (probably at the gym) I will re-surface once again and also wear the same cropped-workout tank as you one day but of course in a different colour.


Youngabunga XO


A Broken Ass Staring at Snooki

16 Mar

As I sit here and type this, my ass is broken. Meaning, I can’t seem to walk with it as it feels like I’m dragging an annoyingly painful luggage around, the kind when the wheels at the bottom are no longer rotating correctly and you’re pretty much screwed travelling with it when you try to get from point A to B and do normal things. Of course, it’s the P90x that did this to me, what else.

The other night we did the legs and back session. We skipped Yoga, because we are too cool for school (well more so because I dislike yoga due to my A.D.D.), but maybe that wasn’t such a good idea now given that my butt is broken. I also have this great appreciation for all the normal everyday muscles we DO use and don’t even realize it. If my ass hurts this much on slight movements such as getting up from the couch, walking down the stairs, how could it? – when everyday, these physical movement are our regular routines! Just goes to show you how easily your muscle adapts to memory and the norm. One must deviate from the normal muscle intensity that you’re used to, that explains THIS horrible feeling of my ass right now.

FML- Really Guys?

Given that I could not really move too much yesterday, walk or even fold the laundry because reaching down deep in the bin nearly killed me from the ass pain. It was clear that legs are not my strongest muscular asset. Chris on the other hand seems to be surviving his workout much better, his pain however is more on his calves. I would totally trade that for my broken ass indeed.

So I sat there helpless and thought a lot of random things, called out for Chris to get me things such as a cup of water, my phone, and to help me up the stairs. (Yes just picture me climbing up the stairs in crawl position with all fours and each step that alternated upwards, Chris supported each footing by lifting up my leg, grabbing the pants and pulling- it was both embarrassing and awesome at the same time).

As I sat in almost tears, settling back into my comfy position I refrained from moving for about 1 hour, and picked up Chris’s latest Rolling Stone magazine in front me. And WHO was on the front cover? I could not believe my !@# eyes SNOOKI from JERSEY SHORE?! WTF? I mean WTF? The Rolling stone magazine to me is an iconic American publication that always represented an authentic, reputable, certain brand– hippie counter-culture, quality writing of great articles, all with political edge and an artzy fartzy point of view. I always felt that those who made the front cover, represented an incredible and ‘credible’ success be it their journey as an artist, or interesting figure who was worthy to be on the top glossy.

As I saw SNOOKI on cover with her ridiculous smirk, riding on what looks to be a giant silver bullet/rocket of some sort and the proud ‘gleam’ in her eyes because even she knew that this was a joke I wanted to pull out my hair and scream!

Chris, gently tried calming me down and explained to me that ‘this IS what pop culture is today” and this is what the Rolling Stone Magazine does- it represents POPULAR-CULTURE. I got even more frustrated as I felt that the sacred brand of what RS meant to me just flew out the window and it was wrong wrong wrong to glorify someone who has nothing remotely intelligent that comes out of her mouth, merely spends her days tanning, bringing gorilla juice heads to sleep with and goes on tangents of drunkenness and gets paid stupid amounts of $$$$.  This is now western pop culture??!

And he’s right. This is what it has come to kids and it sank in painfully, making my broken ass feel worse, as I absorbed the sad reality of exactly that- ‘reality’ in its saddest levels.

I guess I should be happy for you Snooki, I should stop being a hater, and commend you for being branded as American’s #1 party girl beating out Lohan and Paris (yeah what ever happened to her?) and start calling you a god damn genius instead. OK fine congrats to you, no, no wait to your awesome publicist because she should get a freakin medal.


P90x a slow progression.. but progress!

3 Mar

I am happy to say that I finally did the 1st and 2nd session- Chest & Back, and Plyometrics of whatever it’s called.

Chest and Back wasn’t so bad only because it was clear that I was only doing a half ass job really. I mean come on, it’s unrealistic for me at this point to do the Chin-up bars. Like for real?

and those crazy diamond hand push-ups with your legs wide apart is just silly impossible. So of course I do woman-push up versions of all of them. THAT is more realistic and I’m happy to also report back that the next two days afterwards was progress, as I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even turn the wheel of my car making a right turn. I almost cried from the soreness. But although I hate the pain I also love it as Tom would say in the videos.

Chris my fiancee is a different story. I think I all men just try to prove something to themselves and they are so self-competitive its ridiculous and funny. But he was fully committed to the best of his abilities doing the work out so I’m super proud of him and mad at him for making me feel like a pansy.

Last night we did the ‘plyometrics’ session and I LOVED LOVED IT! Why? because it’s just super fun! I mean I aint bored doing it, and I love the burning feeling of pushing myself with my own body weight as it all feels so natural. The result of soreness is incredible the next day and I did walk like a penguin today in the office. (I’m sure they have other suspicions) But definitely loved doing the exercise. Mind you we kind of cheated as we didn’t finish the entire 1 hour but more so only got half way through it. Hey, you got to go at your own pace! However, we were indeed sweating and had our heart working hard.

Right now that is working for us, in that we like to skip 1 or 2 days in between each session for the specific muscle part work outs. It would be impossible to continue consecutively and also it would not be inspiring if we did it otherwise.

So far so good!


Couples Retreat..correction Reform to P90X. Our experience Logs

28 Feb


I thought I’d share our experience with everyone regarding the P90x training program.

When I first put it out there I was scared shitless. Since every single comment from users who have tried the program didn’t have one positive thing to say. Instead we got the following:

–  you will barf

–  you won’t be able to walk

–  you’re just f’n nuts

But the net response we’ve heard despite all the fears is that is that you DO get results and it DOES work!  

So Chris and I became even MORE curious as our goals are to be 100% ready, in shape, super hot and sexy for our upcoming nuptials in Maui in August. I’ve decided to suspend my gym membership until i tried this out for change..

What we bought to prepare:

– elastic band thingys x2

– chin up bar (over door frame)

– free weights his and hers

We watched the first video called ‘chest and back’ and here is what happened:

– I had a cold that I am currenlty still getting over so I figured i would just watch it to mentally prepare myself however –  I quickly pointed out to Chris that he was perfectly healthy to particpate and try it out while I watched:)

– Chris starts the exercises… and already decides that P90x guy is crazy and that we already hate him. but we can’t resist his charms on making us believe we can do this. (er.. I mean Chris)

– Chris continues to do the chest pushups alternating between different ones and choosing this ‘number’ goal

– Chris managed to do only 50% of what was asked. Not a bad start really given that he is starting out from scratch at this point.

– Chris’s chest at the end of the session was bulging and super toned. I have to admit that the blazing veins that popped out of his skin and arms made him automatically super hot (not that my honey isn’t hot already but come on, we ladies LOVE muscles!) I was sold so far.

So I NOW understood how this program works. You push push push yourself until you cannot push no more. The concept here is muscle shock. You just keep going until you want to die. and then you continue after you die some more. This method allows the fibers in your muscle to tear so when it repairs you get growth and results. Muscle is the ultimate fat burner and the end of the day. Now, ladies I don’t want to get ripped or look anything near a greasy steriod pumping competitor woman. That is not my goal. I do believe that however this method will indeed get me quite toned and turn fat into muscle in which will result in a lean, mean, still feminine machine, which sounds just lovely.

– I decide that I will loathe the program but now I’m excited to start as soon as my chest cough and cold disappears.

– Chris was extremely uncomfortable the next morning, only managing to eat small meals due to pain. I could only comfort at this point and just imagine what will happen to me.

On to next week’s log.. when we officially start!


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